Finding eHarmony Happiness
Some Fuzzy Logic By Will Dugan
October 30, 2004
eHarmony.com. Have you seen the television commercials for this Internet based dating service? This company
claims to have a unique questionnaire that is based upon a certain number of compatibility factors. They
further claim that a large number of men and women have used this service to meet that "special someone",
AND that a good number of these meetings have resulted in a happy marriage. Some of these commercials purport
to show "true-life" men and women who claim to have met their "soul mate" by using the eHarmony.com service.
I enjoy watching TV commercials. Sometimes I enjoy poking fun at the message, or how it is delivered, or
what it might have to say about our society and culture. I have been known to create ad-lib parodies that
amuse myself to no end. Some of my parodies have also amused others. But, to be honest, there are people who
find many of my parodies to be offensive, crass and crude ... oh well.
I do believe that, sometimes, some particular television commercial or another says a lot about our society
and culture. I believe that many commercials show a "Madison Avenue" viewpoint of what makes us tick and
what buttons need to be pushed in order to get us to buy whatever is being sold. How accurate is that
viewpoint? How accurate is my interpretation of some underlying "lesson to be learned"? I am certainly not
going to pretend to be some kind of expert in this area of "buttons being pushed" and "what makes us tick"
and "lessons to be learned". But I do give it some serious thought.
There is a certain aspect of the eHarmony.com commercials that I find somewhat disturbing. These commercials
seem to be saying that "true marital happiness" is a result of finding that "perfect someone". I cannot argue
with the idea that if you find the right person to marry, you increase the chances of having a happy marriage.
That seems true and logical enough. I would encourage everyone who wants a mate to try and find a person that
you believe you can be happy with for the rest of your life (duh! - some genius advice there, huh?)
At this point, it might be a good idea for me to state that all of this is only my opinion, after all.
But the aspect that bothers me is this: There is a lot more to true, long-lasting marital happiness than
finding the "right someone". As a matter-of-fact, what takes place AFTER you find that "special someone" and
say "I Do" is a lot more important than any compatibility factors that you might be aware of BEFORE. I
believe that your chances of enjoying a life-long happy marriage are much greater by following a different
philosophy than "just finding that perfect someone".
And the philosophy is quite simple. And I didn't think it up on my own. It is simply this: You don't find
the perfect relationship - You build it. If you want a happy marriage, be willing to WORK on it. WORK on the
give and take, the caring and sharing, the trusting and respecting.
OK, I'll climb down off of my soapbox now. I've got to take out the trash (actually, I've got a whole list
of "honey do's") ... because my wife says that I should.
Copyright © 2009 By Will Dugan
