Chain eMail Reaction
Some Nonsense By Will Dugan (Originally published under the Pen Name of Blind Melon Ugly Dude)

How I react to chain emails

I got one of those email messages that is all full of drippy-dippy nonsense about happy thoughts and what-not that says at the end that I MUST forward it to 10 people or face some kind of consequences.

Well, being the type that is never afraid to face consequences and turn my back on them, I replied with the following: (honestly, I did)


Not only that, but if you refuse to re-send this to not only the original 10 requested but also SPAM it to at least a dozen people that don't want it, don't expect it, and who will get madder than hell that you invaded their privacy - well the following curse will be brought upon the unsuspecting world.

All albino, curly-haired midgets will grow an extra toe and two extra feet. And then (and you don't want this to be on your shoulders) the world will be over-run by tall lopsided midgets with eleven toes and curly hair. This ain't gonna be no purty picture, cause you know that they are gonna have an attitude that will certainly endanger those of you who think that you are normal.

But, I'll be safe because unbeknownst to most people is the fact that I myself am a tall, curly-haired albino midget with eleven toes. I have kept it secret with the help of a good base make-up, Alberto VO-5, and platform shoes (and I never run around barefoot).

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Trapped Somewhere Between
Insanity and Sincerity
Will Dugan
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Copyright © 2009 By Will Dugan