Chubby The Hamster
Some Nonsense By Will Dugan (Originally published under the Pen Name of Blind Melon Ugly Dude)

So then there's Chubby the hamster being held prisoner by the squeaky-voiced, blond bimbo who wants me to go online and download information on how to register to vote.

And so I am. I desperately want to cast my vote for Chubby. Chubby the Hamster for President. I want to start a movement, a bowel movement. I want everyone to give a shit and vote for Chubby.

A vote for Chubby is a vote for being locked up in a cage, and being made to run and run on one of those things that hamsters run on. A vote for Chubby is a vote for living your life at the whim of some bimbo (or asshole - but you don't get to choose). A vote for Chubby is a vote for being forced to sleep in your own shit until some airhead gets around to cleaning up after your mess.

But lest you should start feeling sorry for Chubby, DON'T. Chubby ain't got it so bad. At least he's not a guinea pig. At least he doesn't have to listen to rantings from the religious right or leanings from the liberal left.

Cheer up Chubby; it could be worse. You could have voted for Al Gore - You could have voted for Al Gore in Florida - You could have voted for Al Gore in Florida AND had the unmitigated bad luck of being black (in which case your hanging chad got chucked).

So, what do you figure they did with all of those collected, counted, and dis-counted chads? Hamster cage filling!

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Trapped Somewhere Between
Insanity and Sincerity
Will Dugan
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Copyright © 2009 By Will Dugan