Constipation
Some Nonsense By Will Dugan (Originally published under the Pen Name of Blind Melon Ugly Dude)

If you just can't poop and it's weighing heavy on your mind; it's all you can think about - well, let me ask you this - are you contemplating constipation?

If you just can't get those thoughts out of your head, what you have is constipated contemplation. And it gets so bad (your constipated contemplation of constipation), that you suffer from debilitating deliberations. It can get uncannily, unbearably unnerving.

Well you sit on the stool
and you shift like a fool
and you grunt til you drool
and you wish for a tool
to get the job done.

Refusing to quit,
this striving to shit
- you sit and you read
and your hemorrhoids bleed
and your eyes bulge out
leaving no doubt
- you ain't having no fun.

So for some laxative you lay out some cash.
And a rip-roaring poop makes a big splash!

And now you feel great
cause the bowel movement fate
smiled on you late
and you make a big date
to eat some more cheese if you please.

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Trapped Somewhere Between
Insanity and Sincerity
Will Dugan
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Copyright © 2009 By Will Dugan